Reading the Globe's fawning coverage of Governor Patrick's testimony in the Sal DiMasi trial, I get the same queasy, vicariously embarrassed feeling I used to get back in high school, watching the nerdy kid with a crush try in vain to impress a pretty girl. [Okay, fine. I get the same queasy vicariously embarrassed feeling other kids used to get watching me try to impress the pretty girl. Whatever. The point is the feeling.] You want to tell the poor kid to stop. She may throw you a smile, but she isn't going to prom with you no matter how many times you notice her haircut or whisper her an answer in biology class.
Here's the straight news article, on the front page:
Inside the courtroom, the governor seemed collected as he answered questions from prosecutors and defense lawyers. He put on reading glasses to see evidentiary documents, holding the glasses by the tip of their frames
By the tips of their frames, he held them! How much more "collected" could a mere mortal be?
And here is the separate analysis of Patrick's performance (titled "Keeping his cool...")
But the governor, a polished campaigner and veteran of the Justice Department, appeared calm, almost pensive, as he spoke for nearly two hours about his involvement in approving a software contract at the center of the corruption case.
Finally, the wet smooch from columnist Adrian Walker, whose headline ("Governor's star turn") did not bother even to try to conceal the writer's ardor:
Governor Deval Patrick was a picture of calm yesterday as he took the witness stand against his sometime political ally and friend, Salvatore DiMasi.
So calm! So cool and collected! So polished! So...
For the Governor's people there was but one task this week: to limit the political damage to their guy from serving as the star witness in a corruption trial arising from a deal that he personally signed off on in the tumultuous early days of his administration.
With so dedicated and focused an assist from our paper of record, they really had nothing to worry about.